Trust simply means putting your confidence in another person. It is also an essential part of living. Deciding or choosing who to trust with your life, job, heart, children and all that is not an easy task. We all also worry about when to trust or not. This is something we have to decide every day as we meet people. But trusting is easier for some people than others. Some things just make trusting harder for some people. This is usually due to past pains, breaches of trusts, disappointments etc.
Sources Of Trust Issues
Just imagine that feeling of discovering that the person you love or want to marry or already married to has suddenly developed feelings for another person. How humiliating! Or you discover that all your partner just want is to just have sex with another person. This is a serious invitation to trust issues.
I know how best friends can be. A best friend is someone you genuinely trust. You just trust them more than anybody else. You share with them your deep secrets. They know about your desires. They are also aware of your insecurities and vulnerabilities.
Then you hear about your own secrets or desires that only your best friend knows from another person. Imagine how you would feel if you discover that your best friend tells lies about you just to selfishly look goo for themselves or get favors from another person. The worst? Your best friend cheating on you with your lover!
Another source of trust issues is from childhood. This, I believe is the most difficult. Growing up and not being able to depend on neither of your parents or siblings is terrible. That is a serious damage on one’s perspective of the world and the people in it.
Effects Of Trust Issues
Shutting everybody out of your life would only become an easy thing to do. This could explain why you have learnt to only trust yourself, not rely on people or expect anything from anyone. Accepting help from people wouldn’t be all that easy as well. All these kinds of experiences only end up leaving deep scars. They also have bad influences and long-term results on the way you view the world.
This is also why you always feel like you need to protect yourself from getting hurt by people and you are so scared of disappointments. You are always worrying about what people do or say behind you. You simply cannot stand secretive people, even though they mean no harm because secrecy is a natural part of some people. Lack of trust would also make you want to control everything.
Trust Issues Could Affect Your Productivity
Over the years, your lack of trust might be your driving force to becoming an independent individual, which is a good thing, right? But this is one of the ways whereby your strength can become your weakness.
If you have trust issues, you cannot be a good team leader. Why? This is because you would want to control everything and everyone in your team. You might find it hard to organize and delegate tasks, which a true leader will understand how to. When you become extreme with the way you manage situations and people, there will be bitterness and aggravation. That would be really bad, especially if you are in a business like MLM, where everyone in the team earns from the group’s effort.
Getting rid of trust issues that come from childhood experience requires a long procedure and an intensive one at that. There might also be a need for you to talk to a therapist. If you have trust issues, try and trace it to the source. Do you have them because of people’s attitude and strange behaviors or from your troubled past.
Learn to overcome trust issues and deal with pains from your past. Stop expecting too much from people. I cannot guarantee that people will no longer betray your trust because I am a very realistic person.
I believe God allows disappointments so that we would learn to only trust in Him. But do not forget, there are good in people, which you can only see if you are not blinded by pains from past disappointments. Whether you admit it or not, you need people.
Start by trusting life itself. Think of what would happen on the long term if you would not trust people. Trust, is a choice. It could be a wise one to make.
“Instead of saying, “I’m damaged, I’m broken, I have trust issues” say “I’m healing, I’m rediscovering myself, I’m starting over.” ― Horacio Jones